Kathryn. Real.

Three things I am ridiculously thankful for today:

1. an epidural

2. caffeine

3. newborn feet

  I am so in love with my little girl, what was I worried about? 

Hi.  Um, so what’s new?  I’ve been in bed for basically the last three weeks trying to kick a sinus infection.  It’s annoying when people think you’re just complain-y because you’re super pregnant and not actually because you’re sick.  It’s especially annoying when those people are medical professionals.  I was so sick I missed two weeks of Lost because I didn’t have the energy to sit up and watch television.  After two weeks of feeling under the weather and one week of feeling like I was going to die (no really), and being told it was just a cold, or it was viral, or to just get rest and wait it out, I finally went to a different doctor who diagnosed me with acute sinusitis and gave me the appropriate dosage of antibiotics.  I felt a little better the same day.  I have actually been able to sleep, and I might truly have the strength to birth this baby.  Thank God.Last night I started feeling a little panicky about the VBAC.  I know the chances of us dying are very low, BUT, still I worry that what I thought was the best decision for our family might turn out to be the worst.   Plus Iris has been taking longer stretches between moving around a lot which is freaking me out.  I’m just so ready to be on the other side of the birth so I can see her, and know she’s well, and get to know her.Hey, I turned 31 a few days ago.  I spent it in bed fighting that “virus”.  I did manage to drag my butt to dinner where I proceeded to go to the restroom about 45,000 times to blow my nose, cough up a lung or pee.  Also Ellis managed to pee all over the bench, his pants and the floor.  It was pretty much the best birthday dinner I’ve ever had.  The food was pretty sucky to.  But!  I got some awesome pink cat eye vanity glasses that I adore and will show you as soon as I get them straightened.  My lovely husband got me a Buddha statue for the garden that I’d been eyeing.  Would have been better if I’d been well though.So not a comprehensive (is that even right? probably not) thought to be found in this head apparently.  Sorry you had to be subjected that.  We’ll talk when this baby is on the outside, eh? 

If I ignore the fact that I’m once again sick*, which I’ve complained enough about elsewhere I believe, I’m doing alright.  My belly is unwieldy for sure.  I’m starting to get those looks when I go out in public.  The holy shit this woman might go into labor right in front of me looks.  

So, when I’m not distracted by my throat full of glass shards, I’m deconstructing every abdominal twinge.  I’m looking for any sign that I might go into labor soon and no one can give me anything good.  So I turn to you my friends.  Tell me your “how I knew I was in labor” stories and disctract me from this madness!

*It’s “viral” so I can’t even take anything for it, no one can tell me how long it will last.  My energy level is nill, and I’m worried about going into labor with that kind of energy (non) reserve.