Kathryn. Real.

I am thankful for carbs.  And for being pregnant enough to eat twice as much as everyone else and still have room.  And, perhaps most importantly, for this.  Now go eat your ass off.

If you ever decide to put off cleaning for sewing some curtains, may I suggest you not watch this show while you’re sewing.  Cause now Ellis is at pre-school and all I can think about is how dirty this house is.

My sonogram is scheduled for December 9th.  I’m trying to be better about enjoying the journey and not focusing so much on the destination.  However, when something this big occurs, something that will shape the rest of my life, I get a little antsy.  I am counting down those days and hoping Tiny feels like showing his/her private parts on the 9th.

My guys are on a boys only hike so I’m off to choose between picking up the house or hemming the curtains.  My life is so glamorous.

Remind me to tell you about Ellis and his new baby doll whom (who?  whom?) he loves so much it’s on the hike with him.

We’re playing with boats in the bath and Ellis drives one of them up to another and says:

E: A whore ladies!

I am not even kidding. Thank you Backyardigans.

Ellis says:

E: Mom, it takes a long time for poop to come out of your body.  Did you know that?

Me: Oh, really?

E: Yeah.  In nature.

One of the benefits* of being pregnant is that my hair, drinks in some hormone cocktail and curls up quite a bit.  This means I don’t have to spend any time styling it.  I wash, I gel, I go.  But after the great bleach out of 2007 my hair is still quite dry and damaged.  I was seeing more frizz than curl, and I had taken to just blow drying semi straight and pulling it into a ponytail every day.

Enter this tutorial.

(In case you don’t want to read it all, it basically says to use conditioner to cleanse your hair instead of a shampoo.  I use a light conditioner to cleanse, massaging it into my hair just like I would shampoo.  Then a deep conditioner after that.)  I’ve been using this method for only a couple of days and MY HAIR IS CHANGED FOREVER.  I was really skeptical as to whether I could really skip shampoo.  I have an oily scalp after all; but the conditioner truly does the job just fine.  My frizz is 90% gone.  Just gone; no new products, no styling tools, just skipping the shampoo.  The best part by far is that my curls are springing up even more.  I have ringlets where two days ago I had sagging waves. It’s like magic. So what are you waiting for curly girls!  Go forth and condition!

p.s.  My hair is doesn’t have the same curl shape all over.  At the nape of my neck are ringlets (even when I’m not pregnant) and the curl gets steadily looser until you get to the very top layer where it’s really just wavy and remains pretty much unchanged so far, even though there are now curls right underneath.  Now that I’ve fixed the frizz issue, anyone know how to get those little waves to match the pretty curls underneath that no one sees?

*I’m finding it hard to think of any other benefits right now (well, besides that whole baby thing you get at the end).  This baby has tucked him/herself up against my right hip bone and IT’S BLOODY UNCOMFORTABLE.  What the hell Tiny?  This is third trimester stuff!

Behold the guess the gender poll I’ve added to the sidebar over there.  We’ve all got about two weeks (give or take) to guess.  I’m thinking about giving a prize to a randomly selected correct guesser.  Can you tell I’m a wee bit obsessed with the polls lately?

For the record, I’m guessing it’s a girl, and I was right about Ellis.

p.s. Right, so if you want to be eligible for a prize, leave your guess in the comments so I know who’s in the running!

Screw you.  This is the 4th time in 4 months you’ve had me feeling run down, exhausted, achy and sore throaty, but not feverish or sick enough to be allowed to wallow in bed.  You suck.

On your first day of pre-school you slept until 9:15.  Even though I’ve been doing this for almost 3 whole years now, and I totally know better, I still had to stop myself from imagining every nightmare scenario in which you were lying there helpless and badly hurt or worse.  I’ll probably still be doing that when you’re 15 and sleeping half the day away.  When you woke up I didn’t hear a peep over the monitor to let me know you were up.  You simply got out of bed, opened your door, walked into my room and said good morning.  This is significant since usually you lay there yelling “mommy!  daddy!  mommy!  daddy!” louder and louder until one of us stumbles into your room.

We had morning snuggles and you were uncharacteristically calm and still.  Then we watched Scooby Doo, which you love, love, love, and I am still really struggling to let you watch.  It’s the one show we watch on commercial TV and every time there was a commercial break, you alternated between asking what happened to the show, would it come back on, and saying you wanted every toy in every commercial.  After the show we went upstairs and made pumpkin muffins together.  We have a system when we bake.  I pour the ingredients into the measuring cup and you pour them into the bowl.  Today, for the first time, you handled the stirring all by yourself while I made myself some tea.  It’s one of many things I know you’re capable of doing if I can just learn to give you a bit more room.  When the muffins were finished we sat and ate on the kitchen floor at your request.  Ever since Halloween, you call these parties.  If we’re eating candy it’s a candy party.  If we’re eating cheese, it’s a cheese party.  Any time there are two or more people eating one food item it’s a party.  So today, in honor of your first day of pre-school, we had a pumpkin muffin party.

You are a master procrastinator, and chose to play Dad’s trumpet instead of getting dressed for school.  That’s pretty typical for our mornings together.  But eventually (on threat of NOT being allowed to go to pre-school) you got dressed in your messy clothes.  One of your favorite things about school is that you can always get messy without repercussions.

We’ve been twice now, you and I, to visit your new school and play a while together.  It’s an amazing place, and there are so many things to explore and learn.  You get to do whatever you choose at this preschool.  They’ve managed to accommodate every whim so you can learn at your own pace in your own way.  There’s a quiet room for reading and science, and playing house.  There’s a “big” room where you can run, jump, and be as loud and rowdy as you want.  There are art projects  every day should you choose to do them.  There are teachers manning each post ready to help you.  There is a tight rope, a zip line, a sand area bigger than any I’ve every seen.  There are bikes, and basketball, and gardens, and chairs hanging from trees for relaxing.  There are guinea pigs, fish, lizards, and frogs.  I know you are going to thrive.  I know you already love this place.  It’s both difficult and wonderful for me to share your sweet face, and your beautiful soul.