Kathryn. Real.

WE ARE NOT GOING TO BE LIVING IN OUR CAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Thank you all so much for sending us your thoughts and prayers.  Our rental application has been ACCEPTED!!!!  EVEN WITH OUR FURRY FAMILY MEMBERS.

I don’t even think I have the words to adequately describe the relief I feel right now.  There were times in the last month when I really felt like I was not going to survive this.  I can’t thank you guys enough for being so supportive.  Now I understand what Heather Armstrong means when she says that the internet saved her life.  I am not even joking.

May all this support, love and encouragement come back to all of you one hundred fold when you need it most.

It is not my responsibility to sell this house.  My family and I are not the reason it isn’t selling.  I will not allow myself to be manipulated into feeling that this is the case.

Still, this doesn’t make me feel warm and fuzzy. And yes, I just linked to Perez Hilton.

My poor little guy caught a bug.  He’s been limply lying around for the past two days rotting his brain (and mine) with Cars and Thomas (the live action movie, shoot me now).  Luckily even a fever and diarrhea haven’t dampened his spirits.  He’s such an amazing kid.  Every time I give him some Tylenol, as soon as it’s down his throat he says “Thank you mommy.  Thank you for giving me some medicine.  I’m better now!”  and every time I try to leave his side he says “Moooommmyyyy!  I want you to take care of my baby.” (meaning come hold me).    I’m hoping he’s better by Friday ’cause we’re headed to Texas.

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In other news, my scalp where I part my hair is just as sunburned as my shoulders.  It should start peeling right about the time I get on that airplane.  Good times.  It itches like a mutha.

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No word on the place we applied to.  There are a ton of semi-affordable places around town, but 99% of them don’t take any pets.  It’s looking like it might come down to them or us kind of a thing.  Have any of you ever had to give your furry family members to good homes?  How did you cope?

We used to be so good together. Now this is how it ends?

I just can’t trust you anymore. I’m moving on to someone a little larger, a lot stronger, and a hell of a lot more reliable.

Yours,
Kathryn

I’m thinking of lovingly referring to my 7 day breakdown as my “mini-break”. It’s the closest I’ve ever come to a nervous breakdown. There is only so much stress one body can take. There is still no resolution to our issues, but I’m feeling a bit more capable of getting through them with my sanity in tact. To know that I have hands reaching out to catch me if I fall is a HUGE part of that. So thank you again for sending help and positive thoughts.

Linda recently mentioned that when the sun comes out here it’s like an injection of zoloft directly into the veins (or something to that effect). Today is sunny, and I am happy.

A few days ago in the middle of the mini-break Fed-Ex left a door hanger on our front door saying they needed a signature on a package and would attempt to deliver it the next day (or I could pick it up at the airport between 5&6, seriously Fed-Ex?) they didn’t leave a time frame for the delivery or a tracking number to allow me to check on it. It was more than I could handle. I was convinced it was more badness. Wednesday I got a call from them saying I could pick it up any time and they were holding it for me for 5 days. So Ellis and I drove over to the Bellingham International Airport (they’re all “we’re an international airport, we fly puddle jumpers a 1/2 hour north to Canada”) and picked it up.

Can you guess what it was? No you can’t because I am still in shock at what it was.

Kent’s childhood friend Justin is a photographer.  He won a Canon Rebel Xti and camera bag.  And he gave them to me. And he said a ton of nice things about how he knows that Kent and I are making sacrifices to give Ellis the life we want him to have and that he remembers me saying how much I liked that camera at Ellis’s first birthday party and it’s just so incredibly generous of him to think of me and there I go crying again.  I don’t even know if he reads this website but I do know that he sent it before my mini-break, so it wasn’t even because he took pity on me, but because he’s just that nice of a guy.

All this is to say that support from internet friends + support from other people in my life + Sunshine zoloft = helping me to feel like maybe the Universe doesn’t hate my guts after all.

p.s. We turned in our first rental application for a new place today. The landlord is hesitant because of the animals, and she’s requesting to speak to our current landlord, so I’m not very hopeful we’ll get this place, but at least we’ve got the ball rolling.

I don’t have words to express how lucky I feel to have you guys.  It helps so much to feel supported.  I am marginally better.  I woke up this morning at 6 unable to turn off my brain, but even so my chest didn’t start clenching, and I could breath a bit more normally.  This is because of you.  Thank you.