Kathryn. Real.

Actually it means I’ll be required to don a bathing suit since we’re staying somewhere with a pool and I have a 2 year old who thinks he’s a fish.  I’m thinking something like this should do nicely.

Ellis and I will be in Texas the 23rd through the 31st of May.  I’d love to see my girls if ya’ll are available.  Lemme know!

I kind of pride myself on my ability to empathize with other people.  I’m a big believer that competition is hardly ever a good thing.  It’s why my Texas relatives call me a hippie.  Well that and the fact that I was a vegetarian for so long and still don’t eat red meat or pork.  (Wut?  No cow?  She’s either crazy or uh damn hippie.)  Hee, I kid.  Sort of.

Anyhoo, I have to admit I tend to get into competitive mode when I’m in the gym.(In my own mind of course, I don’t actually speak to people jeesh what kind of an introvert do you think I am?)   If someone next to me is going faster I try to beat them.  I get some perverse pleasure when I outlast people.  I imagine that as they walk past me they’re all impressed at my elliptical machine prowess or something.  Jesus I’m totally blushing right now.  It really embarrasses me that I’m like this.  I can’t believe I’m about to hit publish on this one.

Also?  I’m totally procrastinating on the list right now.  I’m supposed to be working.  I really suck at this work at home mother bit I do at the end of each month.  That’s confession number two by the way.  Probably not much of a surprise.  Mmkay I think I’ve done enough stinking up the internet for today.

We’re in the car, Ellis has just woken up from a short nap after a long swim (indoors at the Y).  He says:

E: Man, what a great day we had.

Holy shit ya’ll!   I just wore my skinny jeans to dinner.  Two weeks ago I couldn’t pull them over my ass and tonight they buttoned.  I have never been able to wear these jeans.  Not even when I bought online (in other words I just bought the size I thought I wore, which I obviously did not) 4 years ago.

Do you know what this means?

Only 3 more sizes to go to reach my goal size .   HELL YES!

Ellis and I have had an exceptionally good week together. We spent two hours having lunch downtown and just walking around soaking up the sun. He even helped me pick out some sunglasses. He’s always been a lot of fun to be with but lately even more so. He’s becoming so independent, starting to show real signs of wanting to go his own way. He’s incredibly loving, gentle, polite, inquisitive, imaginative, funny, brilliant, sweet. I could go on and on.

I don’t know what I did to deserve this kid, but I am so thankful to have him in my life.

On Monday I reached one of my big weight loss goals. I burned over 1000 calories in one hour on the elipticle machine. It was a long time coming, let me tell you. In spite of this accomplishment, I think I’ve hit a bit of a plateau and that scares me. When I stop seeing results, one of two things tends to happen. I either take drastic measures (like diet pills or starvation) to combat the issue, or I get completely discouraged and give up. Neither of which is a good option for me now.

In an attempt to jump start the ‘ol metabolism I jumped on a different machine today. This one measures how far you’ve gone instead of just strides, calories, bla, bla, bla etc. etc. etc. The last time I was on one of these was when I was newly working out. Then my max was 2.5 miles in 30 minutes. Today I ran 3.25 in 30 minutes. Since I run for an hour I’m guessing I average around 6 miles a day. (these machines only allow for 1/2 hour work outs. so I have to stop and re-start to get an hour out of them. what gives ymca?)

6 MILES A WEEK-DAY PEOPLE.

I should be a size 2 for crying out loud. Anyway, my new goal is to run for distance instead of calories and see if that helps me get over my weight loss slump. I’m setting my goal at 7 miles in an hour. I have no idea how I’m going to do it, but if I can run 6 miles a week-day, I can do anyfuckingthing.

I guess I could also be a little more careful about what I eat, but as much as I love food, I think I’d rather run for an additional 1/2 hour than give up cheese altogether.

Actually I’ve been making much better choices for a while now. Working this hard just naturally makes me more conscious of what I’m doing to undo all that hard work, ya know?

Oh, and just in case you’re wondering about the list of angst. I’ve accomplished exactly three of the things on it. The front page of the web site is up (although still in progress), I’m raising mister Ellis while Kent works late this week, and I’m making those gym trips religiously. Everything else is still outstanding. I think I need a vacation. Alone. Doesn’t that sound blissful?

It figures that after writing the list of doom I would get a pimple of proportionate size to the list.  I look like Rosanne Barr’s character in She Devil.  I can’t find a close up, but she had a gigantic mole on her face and my pimple is the same size and in the same place as that mole.

Incidentally, did anyone else watch that movie over and over again as a kid?  I swear my brother and I watched it every time it came on HBO one summer.  And that was a hell of a lot.  Do you think Meryl Streep paid someone to remove as many images of that movie as possible from the Internet?  How did they get her to do that movie anyway?

My sister in law just left us after a 4 day visit which was lovely.  I like when she’s here because she says things like “you look like Catherine Zeta Jones” and “your son is so smart and adorable”.  It’s always fun to show people around this magical place and remember the awe I felt at first seeing it too.  (the awe is still there, just not as prominent in my every day thoughts)

Anyway, now it’s back to reality.  We’re having an open house this weekend (during nap time, natch).  So I need to get the house even cleaner than it is now, which is already at record clean.  Other things I need to stop procrastinating on, like now, are:

1. raise son

2. find a place to rent

3. tell landlord if he wants to continue to show the house without giving us 24 hours notice he’ll need to agree to let us out of our lease early (provided we find a place)

4. do normal 6 hours at gym (5 cardio, then weight training makes total 6)

5. help mom with her new business web site

6. start pricing child care

7. kick this cold

8. pull together resume, including references

9. figure out how to come up with the money to get the car looked at (check engine light is on again, I think they said it would be 400 bucks to fix it.)
10. get car fixed
11. try really hard not to lose mind or become overwhelmed at thought of to-do list

I have come to the conclusion that I am increasingly becoming a creature of habit.  If I don’t do the same thing in the same order every day I tend to get irritable.  I’m not sure why this is happening.  I used to relish getting up in the morning and doing something different every day.  Maybe it’s age.  Maybe it’s the boy child.  Maybe it’s just easier to keep the administrative bits of my life in order when I have a routine going.  Still, it’s disconcerting.  I don’t want to end up a crochety old hag who yells at her family because WHY DON’T YOU MAKE YOUR OWN COFFEE, NO NOT LIKE THAT, DO IT THE WAY I DO IT OR….OH FUCK IT I’LL JUST DO IT.  THE RIGHT WAY.