Ellis,
Last month went by without a letter to you. I know, I suck. You and I were in Canada when you turned three months visiting your GP, GodMum and GodGrandMum. When we returned we were very busy trying to sell this house so you and I can keep on playing together all day, and well, the month just kind of got away from me. I promise not to let that happen very often. I feel like I’ve already forgotten the little details that I know made that month a special one.
Since your last letter you have become an international and interstate traveler. You’re very good at going with the flow. I hope one day we’ll be able to travel the world with you as part of your education. That’s one of my dreams for you anyway. You started teething during the beginning of your 3rd month and have been drooling and chewing on everything in sight. We can feel two of your teeth starting to poke through. At first you weren’t coordinated enough to put things in your own mouth so I would have to help you. But now you can reach and grab just about anything. You’ve even almost mastered getting your paci into your mouth on your own. You get it in there, but invariably it’s the plastic not the nipple that goes in. You like to sit in our laps during dinner and have started grabbing for things on the table in front of you. The other day you stuck your hand right in my fruit bowl. Whenever I carry you in my arms you grab on tight to my hair for balance which is not so fun. Especially when you get a handful in the back and I can’t reach your hand to untangle the strands. Chloe has been a hair pulling victim as well. We looked over one day and you had a handful going straight into your mouth.
Your personality is emerging more and more every day. You reached for me for the first time the night before we left for Canada and you’re doing that more and more. You even reach for Bella dog and Chloe dog. You’ve just started to act shy when the mood hits, burying your head in my chest when your dad gets home from work occasionally. And doing the same with him when you want to make it clear that mom just won’t do. The other night I was holding you as you were crying because you didn’t want to fall asleep. We were face to face and I saw in your eyes the very second your mood switched and you started laughing at the faces I was making at you. It was so funny.
Last weekend marked the first time you laughed, really laughed. You’ve really got us trained to make silly faces and funny voices just to hear that magical sound. You have a favorite TV show called “The Big Big World”. It holds your attention the most when the frog named Warts is on. Sesame Street is growing on you too. Your favorite is Elmo. Even though I try my hardest to get you to love Ernie, it’s just not working. The first time I imitated an Ernie laugh to you, you startled and cried. You would have thought I was imitating Chucky or something.
Yesterday you had your 4 month check up. You’re 16.2 pounds, 26 inches long and healthy. The doctor said we should start introducing solid foods to you so last night your dad put your high chair together and you ate some baby cereal for the first time. I can’t believe you’re old enough for that already. The months with you feel like weeks and they’re slipping away too fast. You liked the cereal but didn’t quite know how you felt about the spoon and most of the stuff ended up on your bib because you spit it out.
Lately I’ve been trying to rock you to sleep and letting you sleep in your own room until your dad and I go to bed. The other night we were in there with the lights low and your planets lamp projecting stars moons and Saturns on the walls, and you noticed them for the first time. You started looking all around at all the things hanging and shining around you. It was a moment I had imagined a million times as I decorated your nursery and anticipated your arrival, and I cried from the joy I felt being your mother. You are even more amazing than I could have ever known. I had expected to feel so much more overwhelmed, inadequate, isolated, bored, and frankly frustrated with you. But you have made my job so easy, I count my lucky stars every single day for that.
One year ago on Saturday I found out that I was pregnant with you. I was going to try to wait until Mothers day to take the test but I knew that if it was negative I would be too sad. So I took it the day before. I woke up before your dad, absolutely terrified that it would be negative again. I wanted you so much, my angel boy. I snuck into the bathroom and peed on the stick. I was going to put the test on the back of the toilet and check it in the 5 minutes it said it might take for the two lines to show up. But as I was putting the test down I saw the two lines immediately pop up. I couldn’t quite believe it and the words “Oh my God” just kind of fell out of my mouth. I started walking around the bedroom in my t-shirt saying that over and over and over. Your dad woke up alarmed and asked what was wrong. “We did it” I said with an uncontrollable smile on my face. I don’t think we’ve ever come down from that high. So this mother’s day I want to celebrate you for making me a mother. Thank you for choosing us to be your parents. Thank you for making this journey so much better than I could ever have imagined it would be.
I love you little man.
Love,
Mommy
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