Kathryn. Real.

This week there has only been one day when the house wasn’t shown at least three times.  This is how it goes:

I get a call from an agency telling me that so and so wants to show the house in an hour with an hour or two window.

10 minutes before the scheduled time I put the boy in his car seat while he arches his back because he’s sick of being in it, pick the dauggers up and carry them into the garage while they fight with me the whole way.  Pick up and straighten anything that needs it and leave for the hour or two.

Where does one go for two hours at a stretch with a 3 month old when they haven’t had time to shower?  I haven’t figured that out yet.  I’m blowing my savings on Starbucks because that’s about all I can think to do.  Today I went to Target and walked around but I just ended up spending money we don’t have.*

Then come back and read the feedback they’ve left for us.  "Overpriced!" seems to be a theme.  I just wish we were in a position to be able to lower the fucking price people.  There has to be someone out there who loves it and thinks the price is reasonable.  Right?  Right?

On top of all the people looking at the house I’m dealing with contractors coming in to give us estimates on fixing things that we know we’ll have to.  Like the blue kitchen.  Apparently it’s not a hit with anyone besides us.  One woman walked in, saw the blue walls and vinyl flooring and walked right out without seeing the rest of the house.  That’s when I decided it would be much better for me to be gone when people come. 

On top of everything, I’m having to keep the house vacuumed, swept, mopped and picked up at all times.  I’ve never made the bed so much in my life.  Every time I get the baby gym etc. out I’ve got to have it all stored away within the hour.  Needless to say, I’ve been in a crappy mood most of the week.

And yet I know I have no reason to complain.  The more people who see the house the greater the likelihood that one of them will buy it right?  And we’re extremely fortunate that this is the worst that we have to deal with.  It’s just beating me down.  Seriously. 

Sometimes I wonder if I might have been better suited for the age when a middle class woman’s responsibilities were that of learning to manager her house full of servants and making babies.  Seems a lot simpler that way.

*The vibrating teething ring is really cool though.  And has anyone seen the infant chairs they have?  I wonder if they would help him learn to sit on his own.

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10 days is too long to be away from my husband.  I missed him so much that there were days when I literally ached for him.  So cheesy, I know.  In spite of that Ellis and I managed to have a wonderful time in Vancouver.  On the flight up I had an empty seat next to me thank goodness.  Which made it much easier to try and nurse him when he woke up 30 minutes into the flight screaming bloody murder.  I can only assume his ears hurt because the only other time he’s ever cried like that is when he got his immunization shots.  He wouldn’t nurse, he wouldn’t take a bottle, he wouldn’t be comforted by anything at all.  He cried himself to sleep and stayed that way for the rest of the flight.  So it wasn’t all that terrible.  Did you know that you can check your stroller at the gate and they’ll have it waiting for you at the door of the plane as you exit?  Genius!  When we landed, in just one example of Canadian hospitality, a flight attendant walked me all the way down to customs just in case I needed a hand finding the elevators.  Only in Canada people.

CanaMa was of course thrilled to see Ellis and I (but lets be honest mostly Ellis) and we her.  It was a blustery 50 something for most of our trip which was especially  WONDERFUL since Dallas was getting record highs of 102 while we were away.  We walked all over the city with the baby.  Popping into shops and restaurants, and just taking in beauty.  I’ve never seen a downtown with more natural beauty.  There are tulips everywhere.  Cherry blossoms are all over the trees and sidewalks.  There is moss on the tree trunks in the middle of the city.  It’s just really amazing.  CanaMa recently went to a botanist talk in Stanley Park http://seestanleypark.com (the incredible park in Vancouver which is quite literally the same size as the entire downtown area).  The guy said that the environment there is so good for plant life that they grow like they’re on steroids.

It was really great to see "the commune" a.k.a. our Canadian family.  (Trina, Ellis’s godmother, CanaMa, and Trina’s mom Rette (pronounced reetee), all live in the same building so they’ve dubbed themselves the commune).  I think Trina was a little scared to hold Ellis at first, but they bonded quite quickly.  When Kent and I realized we wanted Trina to be E’s godmother we never thought about how much fun Rette would have with him as well.  Ellis was immediately taken with her, and seeing that made me realize that he will have two grandmothers after all.  (I don’t think my step mother is old enough to qualify as a grandmother.)  I know that Kent’s mom would be so happy about that.

As a birthday present to myself I got my hair cut and colored while I was there.  No more soccer mom hair, yay!!  It’s the best cut I’ve ever had.  Usually when I go I ask for a wash and go cut and it never actually is one.  All I have to do with this one is step out of the shower and run my fingers through my hair and I’m done.  I’m in heaven.  The salon owner, Dana had her baby boy 3 weeks after me and was nice enough to invite us over to her house to see him.  So Ellis had his first "play date" in Vancouver.  The look on his face when he saw Sjor (pronounced Shore) was so funny.  It looked like he was thinking "Holy shit, there’s another one?"  Sjor slept most of the time but we had a good time anyway.  That kid has the cutest cheeks!  He was only 6 pounds when he was born, but he’s gotten so big that he’s neck in neck with Ellis now.

I think the best day we had was the day CanaMa and I attempted to ride around Stanley Park in the rain while Trina babysat Ellis.  As we were renting our bikes it started raining, but mom had wanted us to go on this ride all week so I said "Oh, what can a little rain hurt" and off we went.  I was wearing jeans, no gloves, no eye protection, and a sweater with a raincoat on top.  Not the best rain gear.  By the time we got to the park entrance my jeans were soaked through.  I couldn’t see because the rain kept hitting me in the eyes as we rode.  But we kept going by God.  I don’t know how far we went but by the time we stopped to turn back my thighs were literally numb.  It’s a very strange sensation numb thighs.  And then, in true Vancouver fashion, the clouds broke and the sun came out warming everything.  There was steam coming up off of the ground.  It was beautiful.  After we dried off we decided to go up to the top of the mountain and see some snow.  It’s only a 20 minute trip from her house to the top, including parking and tram ride.  Ellis got to see snow for the first time, not that he cared, but we enjoyed it!

The plane ride back was blissful.  The woman at the ticket counter changed my seat so that we had an entire row to ourselves, and gave me the quick security pass.  Then another airport employee helped carry the diaper bag all the way to our gate before she left us.  Parents of small children should all move to Canada or at least visit.  Not once did I feel like I should apologize for getting in peoples way, or for a crying baby, or for needing to feed him.  That doesn’t even happen in the ‘burbs where we live.  Ellis was a happy boy the whole time and I got to see The Chronicles of Narnia.  The only challenge was when he blew out his diaper and I had to change that and his clothes in the airplane bathroom.  I would have used the seat next to me but good lord there was no where to go to escape the smell.

So that was my trip.  In other news Kent’s job is still up in the air, but less so that it was a month ago.  Selling a house is the biggest pain in my ass I’ve ever experienced.  It was shown 4 times yesterday, which is great, but also very stressful.  It’s cool enough now that I can leave the dauggers in the garage while I go drive around for an hour, but soon I’ll have to take them with Ellis and I.  Please let us sell this house soon.

My God, are you still here?  Thanks for sticking with this long ass rambling post.  Canada pictures are after the jump.  (hee hee I’ve always wanted to say that.)

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1. If you go to get your nose pierced, your young male piercer will ask if you’re still nursing and recommend you wait just in case you get an infection because he would hate for your baby to get antibiotics through your milk. (I have never run across a tattoo artist or piercer here who would even think about that let alone tell me)

2. If your baby is hungry Sears has a nursing room in the kids department.

3. Walking around Vancouver is an entirely different experience when you’re not 6 months pregnant and can walk more than a block without sitting.

4. Traveling with an infant makes you tired enough for two people especially when you come home to three home viewings in three days (cross your fingers someone makes an offer.)

The last thing is the reason I haven’t posted until now.  I’m off to spit and polish the house for another viewing this afternoon, hopefully I have some time this evening to tell you all about my trip because it was awesome.

Until then, here are pictures of Ellis’s first swing.  Notice the drool.

Last weekend began the April madness that is now upon us.  Last Friday we put carpet in our house (thanks to no payments until 2007 financing).  There was exactly one room that was not being carpeted so the dauggers and Ellis and I all piled in.  Because Kent’s stereo is so super slick and special it has about 3 million buttons on the remote and none of them change the radio station.  So it was NPR for 3 hours straight until I started losing my mind from hunger and decided to sneak away for some lunch.  (They piled all the furniture into the kitchen.  I couldn’t even open the back door much less get to the fridge.)  Friday night we sorted and priced for the garage sale.  And since I have said the words garage sale you already know how the rest of the weekend went.  On Sunday we ended up putting out a bunch of "Free Stuff" signs and by the time we went to bed everything was gone but 2 bags of clothes.

This week I’m "staging" the house for pictures to go with the Realtor listing which goes up April 15th.  We’re just hoping we sell it with a quickness because if we don’t I don’t think either of us will be able to remain positive about the whole situation.  Also this week we’re preparing for our trip to Canada.  Ellis and I leave on Sunday.  Since mom’s air miles only bought us one seat he’ll be squirming in my lap for the whole flight.  I’m going to suck it up (no pun intended) and nurse him on the plane thanks to your suggestions.  I wish I was adept at whipping out my boob under a blanket, but some how I still need to see what I’m doing.  It should be interesting.  His passport came in the mail today but my renewal is still processing which means that I have to go get a copy of my birth certificate to get into Canada.  That will be my third trip to a government office with a 3 month old this week.  Fun, fun, fun.

While we’re gone Ellis will turn 3 months and I will turn 28.  This will be the second birthday I’ve spent in Vancouver.  My mom took me there when I turned 20, neither of us ever dreaming she would be living there some day.  Other birthdays in April include: My sister Megan, my sister in law, Kent’s boss, my favorite cousin Dee Dee, my friend from high school Desiree.  Most of which are in the first two weeks.  It’s a big month for birthdays.  Poor Megan will turn 17 with a broken nasal cavity.  She’s a softball player and got hit in the eye with a ball last week during practice.  At least she’ll be drugged right?

Ellis’s temperament has been mixed in the last few days.  He’s drooling like crazy (seriously soaking the fronts of his clothes.) He’s chewing on his hands (and mine) constantly, and he’s fussy.  Is it possible that he could be teething this early?  How do teeth effect nursing for those of you who continue to nurse?

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I’ve been thinking a lot about how difficult it can be to feel confident that you’re doing the right thing as a parent.  It’s no wonder.  For every piece of information you read there’s another out there to directly contradict it and tell you your child will be harmed if you follow what the other guy said.  Kent recently read in a parents mag that co-sleeping can increase the risk of SIDS.  Yet attachment parenting literature states that co-sleeping has been known to reduce the risk of SIDS.  So who do you believe?  It doesn’t help that parents are so quick to judge each other.  I’m glad that people are passionate about their decisions, but I’m so tired of people negating the decisions (and frankly just plain existence) of others.  It’s depressing to read some of the judgmental attitudes out there.  I’m not saying I’m judgment free, I’m human.  But I do not feel the need to make other people feel like they are doing things wrong just to make myself feel better about my own choices. 

On a similar note, I’m reading "A Potent Spell" by Janna Malamud Smith about how the mother’s  fear of losing a child colors every aspect of our society.  She says this:

"In truth, the "tigress" cliché is no friend to real mothers. It presents the exceptional moment as evidence that mothers are adequately safe in the world as it is, that their greater vulnerability does not carry significant consequences, that their inequality is not a problem.  Don’t worry, the construct claims, your maternal instincts will flare and guard your baby as necessary.  Indeed, this sentimentalized fierceness becomes an illusion obscuring a much more significant, opposite truth: that the mother’s fears of child loss and the derivative fears of harming children or caring for them inadequately have been continually manipulated, overtly and subtly, even aroused gratuitously, to pressure, control, and subdue women for a very long time - possibly millennia."

I think she’s hit it on the head.

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